The shape and sound of language

Chapter 2 from the book ‘A journalist’s guide to the use of English’

STYLE DIFFERS FROM SENTENCE CONSTRUCTION (SYNTAX) in that it cannot be quantified; it has no precise rules. This is inevitable because style is concerned not so much with the mechanics of English as with the manner in which the writer uses language to play on the sensations of the reader. Style is concerned with the shape and sound of language. It adds impact to writing, strengthens the contact with the reader and heightens awareness. Even though the reader may be oblivious of what is happening and unable to analyse the techniques that are being used, the sense of enjoyment is enhanced.

However, while style does not have precise rules of its own, it must be based on those rules of syntax which give shape and design to our use of English. And, the more elaborate the style, the greater are the demands made on the writer’s grasp of good grammatical construction.

For example, the novelist Francis Brett Young was a lover of the long sentence. A sentence of his might run to well over 100 words and in some cases exceed 150. But the reader never gets lost, because the balance and shape of the sentence is so carefully constructed that it offends none of the rules of syntax. And that, after all, is the purpose of syntax: to enable the writer to communicate with his reader. Syntax, therefore, is the foundation on which good style is built. Some of the more common pitfalls will be discussed later. Meanwhile, there are some considerations about style which may usefully be examined.

To be effective as a communicator, a writer must develop an ability to select a style which has four principal attributes: suitability, simplicity, precision and poise.

Suitability

THE MANNER of writing must be appropriate to the nature of the subject, to the mood and pace of the events that are being recalled and to the needs of the reader. The style must arouse the interest of the reader and maintain that interest throughout. It must also present the facts or arguments in a manner that enables the reader to understand them quickly and easily.

The Roman statesman and lawyer Cicero, who did so much to shape the style of his own language, and consequently those languages which are derived from Latin, was one of the most compelling communicators of all time. He perfected a style which could scarcely fail to captivate his audiences, so skilfully did he combine clarity, flexibility and euphony.

This is what he had to say about style:

“Whatever his theme he will speak as becomes it; neither meagrely where it is copious, nor meanly where it is ample, nor in this way where it demands that; but keeping his speech level with the actual subject and adequate to it.”

Cicero was discussing the spoken word but the import of his message is just as germane to the written word. And it is as precise a definition as one can achieve of such an abstract idea. The key phrases are level with the actual subject and adequate to it.

However, while suitability is an abstract concept, there are a few pointers that can be expressed :

1. If the subject is grave, it must not be treated with anything that suggests levity.

2. If the subject is amusing, it may be treated lightly, or with mock severity (e.g. where the punch-line produces an amusing climax or anti-climax, said to be the “delayed drop” story).

3. Whatever the subject, the writer should not needlessly offend the reader’s susceptibilities. This means avoiding any note of cynicism or facetiousness where the story deals with sincerely-held beliefs, however bizarre those beliefs may appear to the writer.

4. Where a story recalls events which have action and movement, the style should suggest pace. This calls for terse expression, the avoidance of too many adjectives, the use of direct and active verbs, and crisp, taut, sentence construction.

5. Where a story deals with a sequence of events, a straightforward narrative style is often the best. However, there are two points that require attention. If one episode is taken out of context to create impact in the intro, make sure that it is briefly repeated in its proper time context. Secondly, make sure there is a consistent use of tenses in reporting events chronologically.

6. If the events recalled in a story are stark and horrific, resist the temptation to over-write. The events themselves will make sufficient impact. Any attempt to add to the horror may lead to banalities or cliches; e.g. the phrase like a battlefield to describe a multiple crash does nothing to heighten awareness.

7. Whatever the story, don’t rhapsodise. Whenever a story plays on the emotions-whether those emotions be joy or sorrow, humour or pathos-understatement is more effective than overstatement.

8. Where the story requires some scene-setting, there is scope for thoughtful word-painting. Consider this example by Arthur Hopcraft writing in UK national newspaper The Guardian. The piece is from a bygone era but evocative enough to still resonate.

“They moved Sorensen’s cross at dusk, when the streets were still, lifting the darling immensity of it, all of a piece, over Sorensen’s hedge and laying it with care fit for a corpse on the two flat trailers behind the tractor. They trundled it up the short, steep hills and huffed it and swore it round the short, tight turns. They stopped at Carr’s Hill, which has always been called Carr’s Hole, and there they stood it upright among the clods and tufts and mushy hollows that mark the graves of old Ireland’s anguish.”

That style certainly plays on the sensations. It captures scene and mood and has a marvellous impact. It screams: “Read on”.

Simplicity

THE HALLMARK of any great prose is its simplicity. If you look back at the extract from THE GUARDIAN and study it, you will see that this quite sophisticated piece of writing is in reality a piece of simple prose. Apart from the name Sorensen and the one word immensity, there is no word with more than two syllables in a passage of almost 100 words.

The sentences are not short; indeed, the opening sentence has over 40 words. Yet, they are easy to read, because they are nowhere convoluted with clumsily contrived subordinate clauses.

Moreover, the language, although figurative in places, has a directness about it which ensures that the whole piece moves at an energetic pace. This is achieved by the use of direct, active verbs.

Directness is, in fact, one of the fundamental ingredients of simple prose. Brevity, on the other hand, is not the same thing as simplicity, but it does contribute towards it.

From this one example certain useful guidelines emerge and others may be added:

1. Prefer the short word to the long one.

2. Prefer the concrete statement to the abstract.

3. Prefer the direct statement to any form of circumlocution.

4. Be firm in avoiding words or phrases simply because they sound good, if they do not develop the theme.

5. Avoid pomposity at all costs.

6. Remember that a sentence must have at least one finite verb, and that this is the most important word in the sentence.

7. As a general rule, choose transitive verbs and use them in the active voice. The passive voice slows down the pace and clutters the sentence with prepositions and a lot of little is and was auxiliaries.

N.B.-It is particularly important to avoid the passive voice in intros and headlines although there are exceptions. (Eg. Kennedy shot is better than Assassin shoots Kennedy because Kennedy is the strongest word for the subject.)

However, there are occasions where the headline is inverted simply to fit the count, when it would be better to change the size of type, or the shape of the headline.

E.g. JONES IS JEERED BY STRIKERS

would be better recast as the more direct:

STRIKERS JEER JONES

thus obviating the use of the auxiliary is and the preposition by.

8. Choose adjectives with great care and be economical in their use. Avoid tautology (e.g. a new innovation).

9. Prefer the short sentence to the long one, particularly in the intro. Apart from having the virtue of directness, the short sentence also has typographical advantages.

As a general rule, aim for a sentence of 20-25 words as a maximum. On the other hand, don’t make a fetish of short sentences. Eight sentences of 12-15 words may be all right in a short news story, but to stick to sentences of such brevity in an article of 1,000 words would not help the reader at all. Such a staccato style lacks fluency and could impede understanding. The ideal in long articles is to strike a balance between short and medium length sentences.

10. Avoid complex statements where too many subordinate clauses, or descriptive phrases, prevent the flow of language.

The most common pitfalls in sentence construction occur in compound sentences, where participles are misrelated, or non-sequiturs are inadvertently created.

Ensure, therefore, that whenever an idea or situation requires explanation by resort to a compound construction, each subordinate phrase or clause is clearly related to the principal statement.

Precision

ENGLISH is a language of richness and variety. But indiscriminate use of words, simply because so many exist, inhibits precision. And precision is paramount in reporting, for clarity and accuracy both depend upon it.

In order to be precise in writing it is necessary to know the exact meaning of words. Words must fit easily into the sense and context of both the sentence and the story as a whole. It is no use choosing a dramatic, highly evocative word, which sounds fine in isolation, if it is over-emphatic or ill-attuned to the story.

Approximation is the antithesis of precision. If the writer is content with being nearly right about the odd word or phrase, the results will always fall below the best standard.

So, primarily, the journalist needs a good and comprehensive vocabulary. Without such a vocabulary the writer should not be in journalism where the very business is all about words.

Study words and their meanings, for a knowledge of derivation helps a writer to be exact in his word usage.

Avoid gimmicky language and be careful about the use of colloquialisms. These may have a place in a direct quotation (provided that they do not make the speaker look foolish) but they should be used with care in general reporting.

The spoken word has accepted speech patterns that are out of place in written prose. “Estuary English” may be all right on radio and television, but it has no place in our newspapers.

Precision also depends on accurate sentence construction, for faulty syntax can invert a meaning or, at least, make the meaning ambiguous.

Do not leave it to the sub-editor or proof reader to spot inaccuracy or ambiguity. Read your own copy and ask: “ Do I mean what I say and have I said what I mean?” Often the honest answer will be “No”. And, if you pass that self-imposed test, ask: “So what?” Often you will find that the story does not go far enough in saying what happens next. Remember the reader wants to know precisely what is happening.

The headline writer should also think carefully before deciding on the most suitable choice of words. A synonym may be required because the obvious first choice of words does not fit the designated space. Two, or even three words may need to be changed before the headline fits. However, unless the synonyms are exact they may change the precise meaning of the headline. So, finally, ask yourself:

“Does the headline tell the story?” Sometimes the answer will be “No”, and the headline will need re-writing.

Be particularly careful with headline words where the active and passive voice take the same form.

E.g. LANDLORD OWED £50,000

This is dangerously ambiguous. Was the landlord owed £50,000 or did he owe £50,000?

Poise

POISE is the absolute essence of style, for it is this which transforms a piece of writing from something which may be dull and pedestrian into prose which has a sheen of its own.

By definition poise is concerned with equilibrium and in this context is related to the design and shape of language. It involves the creation of perfectly balanced, rhythmical, sentences to give perspective to the pattern of writing. It relies on the unusual word or phrase used exactly in context to add sparkle to the picture that is created. In this way it heightens the reader’s insight by appealing to his or senses through images which have an extraordinarily vivid appeal.

Often this imagery involves using literary tricks, known as figures of speech, to add lustre to the prose. Not all figures of speech have a place in newspaper journalism but there is a place for some, provided that they are used with care and restraint. The secret is that the imagery should not obtrude. In the best prose, the reader remains unconscious of technique; he simply enjoys reading the passage.

The worn-out simile (e.g. like a battlefield) sticks out like a sore thumb (another cliche simile). The apt simile, however, adds savour, which the reader relishes.

The metaphor can also border on the banal. And there is always the danger of mixing them, like the politician who smelt a rat and sought to nip it in the bud.

But, for all that, both the simile and the metaphor have a use in painting word-pictures. Turn back to Hopcraft’s piece and you will find that there are two hidden metaphors hidden because they are metaphorical verbs rather than the more common noun-metaphor. The two verbs are huffed and swore. These are intransitive verbs. One cannot huff anything, any more than smile anything; one can swear an oath, but normally swear is used intransitively.

Hopcraft has used these verbs metaphorically in a transitive manner. And the effect is so much more direct than it would have been if he had written: “they huffed and swore as they pushed it round the short, tight turns “. The appeal is in the unusual use of words which are exactly right in context.

There are figures of speech which change the shape of a sentence, such as: Rome is no mean city. (The figure of speech is litotes) instead of Rome is a great city. But like the double negative and the inverted sentence these forms should be used very sparingly and only when they add to the effectiveness of the sentence.

Such figures of speech are primarily a means of evoking word pictures; they are related to the pattern and design of sentence construction. But above all, poise is concerned with the sound of language, for even when we are reading silently we “hear” the words and phrases that appear before our eyes.

So poise is as much a matter of aural sensation as it is of visual perspective. And, as such, it relies on the inter-play of sounds to give a melodic balance to the whole composition. That is why beautiful writing is mellifluous as much as it is perfectly proportioned.

The figures of speech that assist most in creating melodic lines are:

1. Assonance: the interplay of rhyming vowel sounds:
E.g. “0 my son Absalom, my son, my son, Absalom! Would God I had died for thee, 0 Absalom, my son, my son.” (2 SAMUEL 18: 33.)

Notice the interplay of the vowels O and I. This creates a melody and a rhythm which suggest poetry, but it is pure prose and very beautiful.

2. Alliteration: the use of words beginning with or containing the same consonant.

There is no better example than W. S. Gilbert’s:

“To sit in solemn silence,
In a dull, dark dock
In a pestilential prison
With a life-long lock,
Awaiting the sensation
Of a short, sharp shock
From a cheap and chippy chopper
On a big, black block.”

(THE MIKADO.)

3. Onomatopoeia: the formation of words whose sounds evoke the sound of the action or object named.

E.g. “ The moan of doves in immemorial elms
And murmuring of innumerable bees.”
(THE PRINCESS, Tennyson.)

It may be thought that these are devices which have no place in a newspaper. But we use them all the time. Consider the phrase “ splash-down “. This is an onomatopoeic description of a space capsule making a “ soft landing “ in the sea.

Alliteration and assonance also have their place but should be used with restraint. Re-read Hopcraft’s piece and you will see there is an interplay of vowel sounds; there are onomatopoeic words such as trundled, clods, mushy hollows; and the whole passage is rich in restrained alliteration:

“They moved Sorensen’s cross at dusk when the streets were still . . . .

… care fit for a corpse on the two flat trailers behind the tractor

… trundled it up the short, steep hills

. and swore it round the short, tight turns.”

The whole piece is full of imagery, and this helps to make it the fine writing which it is.

Notice also the repetition of the word short which gives the sentence a sense of equilibrium. This is an excellent example of a writer choosing the right word and sticking to it.

There is a convention that one should not repeat a word in the same paragraph or sentence. The use of an alternative is known as elegant variation.

As a general rule, this is a good practice for it prevents boring repetition, but the synonyms must be exact. If there is no exact synonym, stick to the original word. Call a spade a spade and stick to it. Do not call it a horticultural implement. That is an inelegant variation. And remember that, occasionally, deliberate repetition can be most effective.

In this essay on style, Hopcraft’s three sentences from THE GUARDIAN have been painstakingly analysed to illustrate several points concerning technique. But let us be quite clear that the good writer achieves these results because of a good feel for language and does not start with a determination to include a couple of apt similes, sprinkle in a few alliterative words and add a bit of assonance.

These things are all weapons which should be kept sharpened. They are part of an armoury acquired by wide reading and much practice in writing. They are then used instinctively and incisively to polish a phrase here, searches for the exact word there. They are successful because they are used without strain.

The results in the hands of the unskilled practitioner are that analogy is forced, allusion is less than apt and figurative language gilds the lily so lavishly as to obscure the meaning or to jar on the reader’s sensitivity.

So beware the blunt instrument and the bluntest of all is the Pun. It is overworked and much abused. There is a place for this sort of play on words, but a very small place.

If the former England and Yorkshire cricketer Brian Close took a few wickets in any one match, the headline A Close haul would have been a very obvious and not very clever pun.

On the other hand, suppose Yorkshire had been fighting against the clock in a big match. Suppose the opposition needed only 40 runs in the last hour with seven wickets in hand. Suppose Close then went on to bowl and took all seven wickets with just two runs and four balls to spare. Then A Close haul would have been a valid headline, because it would be justified even if the bowler’s name were Smith. The fact that it was Close is what makes it a Pun.

Play on words clearly has a place in headline writing and those other arts — assonance, alliteration and onomatopoeia — can also be used to effect. But the watchword is restraint. A headline which strings together six words beginning with S will be less effective than one with a mixed pattern, such as S—S—T—S—S—T. This arrangement is asymmetrical; it is better balanced; it has more poise.

If you are in doubt about a headline, try it on a colleague. If you have to argue about it, then it is not so brilliant; if it is a masterpiece there will be no argument-only instant acclamation.

Finally, remember that poise is not an embellishment, a garnishing to add flavour. It is an integral part of composition, giving shape, balance and fluency to the whole construction, and adding impact by the skilful use of imagery.

Poise is elegance harmoniously achieved by the avoidance of excess.

Conclusion

STYLE has four attributes :

SUITABILITY SIMPLICITY PRECISION POISE

Each of these attributes helps the reader to understand and enjoy what is written.

If the style in any way inhibits direct communication with the reader, it diminishes the quality of the story and points to the failings of the writer.

We said earlier: “The journalist should be able to make the style match the mood of his subject. This means developing a professional polish in order that that the gifts of the writer are placed firmly at the service of the reader.”  It bears repetition, for this is what journalism is all about. Words are our business and writing our way of life.

Revised by John Bottomley 2020

About this training module

Ted Bottomley and Anthony Loftus were both journalists and training managers at the Express & Star group of newspapers in the UK. The group has given this site permission to publish the module (above), which is one of six taken from the book ‘A journalist’s guide to the use of English’, first published in July 1971 but still relevant today. You can find links to all six chapters below.

Ted Bottomley spent his whole working life in newspapers and more than 25 years in journalism. He was a former weekly newspaper editor, and had a long association with the National Council for the Training of Journalists. He was a member of the Publishing and Editorial Training Committee of the Printing & Publishing Industry Training Board. In the UK journalists still compete to try to win the prestigious ‘Ted Bottomley Award’.

Anthony Loftus was a high court reporter and film and music critic before becoming the Editorial Training Officer of the Express & Star group. He was a member of the Institution of Training Officers and the Association of Lecturers in Journalism, and the chair of the West Midlands Regional Training Committee of the National Council for the Training of Journalists.

You can read more about the book, the men behind it, and how it has been revised and updated by Ted Bottomley’s son, John, a newspaper journalist for 40 years.

The six chapters of ‘A journalist’s guide to the use of English’

• Chapter 1: The use of English
• Chapter 2: The essence of style
• Chapter 3: Word Power
• Chapter 4: Spelling
• Chapter 5: Syntax and sentence construction
• Chapter 6: Punctuation

The post The essence of style first appeared on Media Helping Media.

The importance of language

This is another training module from The News Manual, part of a series reproduced on this site about language and style in news writing. In this modules, we offer guidance on how to write sentences for maximum understanding and why care over language is important.

Your main task as a journalist is to help people understand what is happening around them; in their village, in their country and in the world. Most readers or listeners will not have your knowledge of language, so you must simplify it for them.

You should be able to examine the most complicated issues and events, then translate them into language which your audience can understand. If you fail in this, people will stop buying your newspaper or tuning in to your radio or television station. You will be failing in your job.

For many journalists today, English is the main language used for newspapers or magazines, radio, television or the Internet. This training module is written in English, so it concentrates on the English language. It is worth remembering, however, that even a language as common as English is not exactly the same all over the world.

There are differences between, for example, UK English and American English. There are often also differences in the way English is written or spoken within individual countries. It may sometimes be difficult to decide what is correct in the English used in your country.

Language is developing all the time, and your country may not yet have a well-established set of rules for English. If this is so, you should use the form which is accepted as correct by the most literate educated people in your country. Above all, use words and grammar which are most easily understood by your readers or listeners.

Although you are reading this in English, you may do a lot of writing in other languages. Many of the general points we make about writing style will apply to these other languages. Learn the general points and try to apply them to your own language or languages.

You may get some guidance on such things as sentence length, punctuation or word usage from your organisation’s style books. These are books which lay down rules for language you must follow in your particular paper or broadcasting station.

You should ask your editor or chief of staff for a copy of your organisation’s style book. Unfortunately, many small or new organisations do not have their own style book. In these chapters, we try to give you some general guidelines for language use and writing style. Use this advice to create your own style guide.

Short, sharp, clear sentences

Whether you write for newspapers, broadcasting or the Internet, you should always aim for words and sentences which provide the maximum amount of understanding with the minimum risk of confusion.

This generally means keeping words and sentences short and simple. You can use long words, but you must be sure they are doing their job properly. There is no room in your sentences for fat and lazy words. If words do not add to understanding, get rid of them.

Sentence length

There is no single rule about the length of sentences in news writing, but you should set yourself a target for the maximum number of words you use.

We suggest that you never use more than 20 words in any sentence, except in special circumstances. If you follow this rule, your sentences will be simpler, there will be less room for error and you will make a more efficient use of words.

An alternative way of judging the best length for your sentences is to count the number of ideas or concepts you expect your reader or listener to understand. Compare these two examples of the same story. Notice how version A tries to pack all the ideas into one sentence, whereas version B splits them into three separate sentences:

Story A: Four aircraft passengers, the pilot and three people travelling in a car were killed when a twin-engined Beechcraft Baron aircraft hit an electric power line and crashed near Nadi airport this week.

Story B: Eight people died when an aircraft crashed near Nadi airport this week.
The pilot and four passengers died when their twin-engined Beechcraft Baron hit a power line. The plane then crashed into a car on a road near the airport, killing three more people.

Notice that, although Story B is 12 words longer than Story A, it is split into three sentences. None of the sentences in Story B is longer than 20 words. Get someone to read both stories out loud to you, and you will quickly see that Story B is easier to understand.

The reason is simple. Story A contains six separate ideas for the reader or listener to understand at one time:

1. the people in the plane;
2. the people in the car;
3. the type of plane;
4. the cause of the crash;
5. the location of the crash;
6. the time of the crash.

Story B, by comparison, has fewer ideas in each sentence. The first sentence has just four simple ideas:

1. the total number of dead;
2. a simple description of the type of plane;
3. where it crashed;
4. when it crashed.

The second sentence tells us:

1. how many died in the plane;
2. the exact type of plane;
3. the exact cause of the crash.

The third sentence tells us:

1. how the people in the car died;
2. where the car was;
3. how many died in the car.

You may argue that Story B, as well as being longer, gives a total of ten ideas to understand. However, many of those ideas are not separate. They relate to details in the preceding sentence. Linking ideas and repeating details often helps understanding. More important, those ten ideas are not thrown at our audience in one breath. The full stop at the end of each sentence (which comes as a pause on radio and television) allows the reader or listener time to digest one set of facts before moving on to new details.

We recommend that you try to limit each sentence to no more than three separate ideas. You can occasionally use four ideas per sentence, as long as those ideas are not complicated. We fitted four ideas into the intro of Story B above because two of the ideas – the time and place – are very simple and easy for the reader to understand.

Lively language

The words you use will help to make your story easy to understand. Long words are not bad in themselves, if they are the only words available to explain a particular meaning accurately. However, the English language is large and varied so there are usually shorter alternatives which do the job just as well as long words.

Many young journalists think that they have to use the whole of their vocabulary when writing even the simplest news story. You may wish to show off your knowledge of the language, but your knowledge is not what matters. The vocabulary of your reader or listener is more important.

Some journalists also believe that they can only add drama or depth to a story by adding words. We get sentences like:

The man ran swiftly across the street to help the defenceless boy who was being brutally beaten.

Take out the adjectives and adverbs in italics. They are unnecessary and only slow the sentence down. The word swiftly is unnecessary because people do not usually run slowly. The boy is obviously defenceless, otherwise he would not be being beaten. And the word brutally is unnecessary, as most beatings are brutal. The sentence is now much livelier and sharper:

The man ran across the street to help the boy who was being beaten.

The most effective way to add drama to a sentence is to choose the verbs carefully. For example, try changing the verb “ran” to “strolled”, “walked”, “flew” or “thundered”. See how they alter the whole picture of what happened. We do not suggest that you change verbs simply to add drama. Every word must accurately describe what happened. But it is better to choose the correct verb than to add unnecessary adjectives and adverbs. The use of a variety of verbs is most common in sports reporting, where we read of players kicking, shooting, powering or rocketing the ball into the net.

Using new words

Many careless writers introduce new words without thinking how they will be understood. Sometimes they change nouns into verbs, in order to make sentences shorter. The danger with this is that the resultant verb is often less precise than the original phrase and is less readily understood by people. Avoid using verbs such as:

To author (use to write)
To hospitalise (use to admit to hospital or to be in hospital)
To parent (use to be a parent or to act like a parent)

You must be very careful about introducing new words which your readers or listeners might not understand. This is especially important if the word is in their second language. Stay with familiar words.

However, if you cannot avoid using a new word, you must follow it immediately with an explanation. For example, many English language newspapers and broadcasters use the Russian word glasnost quite freely when speaking of the changes in the Soviet Union. When they first began to use it, they needed to explain that glasnost means “the opening up of a society which has previously been rigidly controlled”.

There are also times when new words or usages have been readily accepted by society before the media decide to use them. It would be foolish, for example, to fight against the use of farewell as a verb in the South Pacific. People often speak of `farewelling a friend’.

Sentence structure

It is not enough to write short sentences using simple words. You also have to construct your sentences in such a way that the ideas are easy to understand.

The sentence “the man hit the table” is in the active voice (where the man is the hitter). The sentence “the table was hit by the man” is in the passive voice. Wherever possible, write in the active voice. That is the way most people speak. People do not say “the bus was missed by me”, they say “I missed the bus”.

However, there are times when you cannot avoid using the passive voice. This is particularly so when it is not clear who is responsible for the action or when the subject of the sentence is unimportant or unclear. For example we would write:

Three children have been admitted to hospital with suspected food poisoning. (Passive voice)

It would be wrong to use either of the following versions, the first because it is not clear who admitted them (was it a doctor or a nurse?), the second because we are not sure that it was food poisoning:

Someone admitted three children to hospital with suspected food poisoning.

or:

Food poisoning put three children in hospital.

Other factors which can make sentences too complicated for your reader or listener to understand include:

Subordinate clauses

You should avoid starting a sentence with a subordinate clauses. Subordinate clauses usually begin with words such as “while…”, “as…”, “although…”, “even though…”, “because …” and “despite…”. They are separate phrases within a sentence which help to put the main part of the sentence in context. In the following example of bad sentence construction, the subordinate clause is in italics:

BAD: Although there has been a 20 percent increase in murders this year, the Prime Minister has vowed not to bring back hanging.

The main point of the sentence is that the Prime Minister has said he will not bring back hanging. The subordinate clause sets this promise in the context of the rising crime rate. In the example above, putting the subordinate clause at the beginning of the sentence may confuse your readers or listeners. They expect to hear the main facts first. Rewrite the sentence as follows:

BETTER: The Prime Minister has vowed not to bring back hanging, despite a 20 percent increase in murders this year.

And and but

Even simple joining words like and and but can cause confusion if they are not used wisely. These words are called conjunctions because they join things together. The word and is quite acceptable when used to join together two words or phrases:

The man and the woman had two daughters and a son.

However, it should not be used to join together long lists of ideas which can quite easily be split into separate sentences. In the two examples which follow, the first version is confused by using and and but. By splitting it into separate sentences we do not alter the meaning, we simply make it easier to understand, for reasons we discussed in the section on sentence length:

RIGHT: Import duty on meat and vegetables will be reduced by ten percent.
The special subsidy for rice exporters will be increased by five percent. These changes will come into effect after the next budget.

WRONG: Duty on imported meat and vegetables will be reduced by ten percent and the special subsidy for rice exporters will be increased by five percent but these changes will not come into effect until after the next budget.

Paired negatives

Paired or double negatives in English are not only bad grammar (“he has not got no pawpaw”), they usually create confusion, especially in the spoken word. Although logically paired negatives simply cancel each other out, many people do not use them in this way. Many other languages have totally different rules about paired negatives, and even some British dialects use the paired negative to add stress to a negative idea.

For example, the sentence “He was happy” is easy to understand. So is the sentence “He was unhappy”. But what do you understand by “He was not unhappy”. Was he happy or unhappy? Do you see the confusion? Make it a rule: avoid paired negatives.

Objectivity

Your language must not only be easily understood, it must be fair. You should not use words which give a biased view of a person, an event or a situation.
Many words develop special, biased meanings because of the way they are commonly used in a community. In some cases, you cannot avoid using such words. Take care that the words you use reflect the meaning in the community and not your own opinions.

In particular, you should be careful about using words which describe disputes or conflicts. In these cases, each side to the dispute may choose to use the words which reflect well on them and badly on their opponents. As a journalist, you should try to steer the middle course.

The most obvious cases of bias are introduced by the use of adjectives and adverbs. A protester’s peaceful resistance may seem like violent obstruction to a policeman on duty. An injured person waiting for an ambulance may think it arrived slowly when the ambulance driver believes he drove fast.

Verbs too can be loaded with bias. The same protester who lobbed a stone at a police van may be seen by the men inside to have hurled it at them. A boss sees his workers go on strike, the workers may say they withdraw their labour. Words like sack, retrench and make redundant describe similar situations in which people lose their jobs, but they mean quite different things to the bosses and workers involved. Some American companies even speak of letting workers go, even though the workers themselves have no choice.

Nouns can also express bias. A building can be a house to a poor person, yet seem like a shack to the rich observer. It may seem to be in a suburb to its owner, and in a slum to the rich man. And who is rich? If you have $100 you will be rich to a beggar, but poor to a millionaire.

It is impossible to list all the words which may contain bias. You must look at each word individually and ask yourself if it is fair and accurate.

Quotes

You are on safer ground when you use words in quotes. That way the reader can judge the bias through the eyes of the person you quote. (In radio or television, it is better to use a recording of people speaking the actual words, called actuality.) In the following example, look at the difference between these two sentences describing the same crime. Notice how the magistrate and the accused see the crime in opposite ways:

The magistrate said: “These were mean and despicable thefts, carried out against a defenceless family for no good reason.”

The accused said: “I never robbed anyone. I just took from the rich people and gave it back to the poor.”

Do not pass judgment. Give the words in quotes and let you readers or listeners judge for themselves.

An added advantage of using quotes is that you can use much livelier language – the words the people themselves used.

To summarise

You must keep your language clear and simple so that your readers or listeners can understand.

Sentences should be short – no longer than 20 words or three concepts (ideas).

Sentence structure should be simple; it is best to write in the active voice.

Explain any new words whenever you use them.

This module is taken from The News Manual’s Chapter 10: Language & style basics.

Related training modules

Language and style – grammar

Language and style – words

Language and style – translation

The post Language and style – the basics first appeared on Media Helping Media.

How to avoid confusing your readers or listeners

This is the second module on language and style from The News Manual. In the first we looked at the basics. Here we consider the words you use to tell your story. We see how important spelling is and how to avoid confusing your readers or listeners with the words you choose. We also list some words which are better than others, words you should avoid and some words which are commonly misused – together with the correct forms. In the following two chapters in this section we will look at grammar and at translations.

So far, we have been looking at some general principles governing the way we write for understanding. We now look in more detail at words themselves – which words or phrases help understanding and which do not. Our word lists will not be complete. You must use your common sense when using words not on our lists.

Spelling

Languages are in a constant state of change. English, as the world’s most widely used language, changes faster than most. Spelling is an area in which this change is most noticeable. There are two standards in spelling – Commonwealth English and American English. Which spelling you choose will depend on usage in your country. Most media organisations decide on a particular alternative and stick to it. Here are some examples of alternative spellings:

Jargon

Jargon is specialised language concerned with a particular subject, culture or profession. It is not usually found in the everyday speech of your ordinary reader or listener. Typical of jargon are such things as medical or technical terms, understood by small groups of specialists in their own fields. For example, a coronary thrombosis to a doctor is commonly called a heart attack by the layman. Computer scientists speak of accessing data when ordinary people talk about getting information.

There is an obvious need for such technical terms in context, such as the doctor’s surgery or the computer room. Unfortunately, jargon words tend to spill over into the media. This is partly because journalists want to impress readers or listeners by their knowledge and partly because journalists do not understand what they have been told. Bad journalists find it easier to pass on the problem to their audience by simply repeating the difficult words which they have been given and don’t understand. You should first ask the person concerned to explain what they mean in simpler terms.

This is especially obvious in reporting on government and the public service. Officials often hide behind their own jargon, using it as a wall to keep the public away from their secrets. A Papua New Guinea Minister for Minerals, speaking about foreign shareholders in a big mine, was quoted as saying:

“…they were invited to participate in the development of that mineral resource and they are obligated to honour their agreement to participate.”

Put into simple English, this means:

They agreed to take part in mining and must stick to that agreement.

Notice that we have had to take the sentence out of direct quotes. You cannot drastically alter the words a person says and leave your readers or listeners believing that they were a direct quote. It is much better to use reported speech that people can understand than use quotes which they cannot.

The message is clear. If you do not understand what you are writing, do not write it. If you have a good knowledge of language, you can translate jargon yourself. If you have any doubts, go back to the people who gave you the information and ask them: “What does it mean in plain English?”

Having said that, there are times when you have to use technical or otherwise difficult terms. In such cases, you should provide an explanation for your reader or listener. This need not be complicated. In the following example, we use the term de facto and explain it within the natural structure of the story:

The immigration service says it will no longer recognise de facto relationships in issuing visas.
Officials say that in future, they will only give joint entry permits to couples who are married.
Men and women living together in de facto relationships will have to apply separately.

Always try to explain abstract jargon in concrete terms; that is, translate ideas into what they mean in the day-to-day lives of your readers or listeners. This is important in areas such as economics and government. For example, a ten percent annual rate of inflation means for most people that the dollar in the pocket a year ago now buys only 90 cents-worth of goods. An increase in the basic tax rate means that workers will get less money in their pay packet.

Public servants often take ordinary words and alter their use, making them difficult for people to understand. For example, they talk about sighting a document when they really mean they saw it. To sight something usually means suddenly seeing it from a distance. To complicate matters further, there is also a verb to cite a document, which means to quote from it. To a radio listener, “sight” and “cite” both sound the same. There are numerous examples of misuse which you should avoid whenever possible.

The following is a list of jargon words and phrases. Alongside each there is an example of a good alternative:

Unnecessary words

People frequently put in extra words or phrases which do not add to understanding. As a journalist you should judge which words help your reader or listener and which only make the sentence longer. For example, people write about waiting for a period of two years. The phrase a period of is unnecessary; you should simply say waiting for two years.

Another common fault, particularly in the spoken word, is to add adjectives or adverbs to nouns or verbs which should not have them. In grammar, this is called redundancy. It usually happens where the noun or verb is an absolute; that is, where something either is or is not, with no half measures. It is clearly wrong to describe a woman as very pregnant. A woman is either pregnant or she is not; there is a definite moment when she becomes pregnant. If the very is being used to indicate that she has been pregnant for several months, it is best to give exact details saying, for example, the woman is eight months pregnant.

It is equally wrong to describe a person as utterly dead. There is a moment at which life stops; people are either dead or they are alive, they cannot be slightly dead or rather dead. They may be nearing death, but that is a different and quite acceptable phrase.
The following is a list of unnecessary words and redundant phrases. Get rid of the words in italics:

Clichés

These are phrases which have been used so often in such a variety of situations that they have lost most of their meaning and force. They become boring to regular readers or listeners and should be avoided.

Journalists in older English-speaking countries such as Britain and the United States are usually taught to avoid clichés. There are two problems facing young journalists in developing countries in the use of clichés. One is that clichés often depend on aspects of a culture specific to certain countries. To describe something which happens very slowly, a British person might say at a snail’s pace, whereas an American would say as slow as molasses in January (a reference to the way that sticky liquids like molasses are harder to pour in cold weather). The American cliché might not be understood by many British people, who call molasses treacle. It would be meaningless to people living south of the Equator, for whom January is a hot month – and for people in the tropics who have no experience of cold seasons.

Journalists should be able to recognise clichés which develop in the language of their own country. If, for example, everyone talks about things or people being as fat as a buffalo, this becomes a cliché. The good journalist will find an alternative which is more accurate or more lively.

The second problem with clichés is that phrases which have become boring in one country may seem fresh and powerful in another. Again, it is your responsibility as a journalist to recognise which phrases are fresh and meaningful, which are stale and meaningless.
We will give you a list of phrases which have become clichés in most of the developed English-speaking nations. It is for you to decide which are clichés in your country:

Troublesome words

A large number of words in the English language are misused. Often it is simply a matter of confusion between similar-sounding words. It is important that you use words correctly. For example, there is often confusion in radio and television between the word diseased (which means having a disease) and deceased (which means dead). In fact, the word deceased causes young reporters so many problems you should avoid using it altogether. Police reports often speak of the deceased when referring to a dead man or woman. A reporter who simply parroted a police statement about a fight between two men wrote the sentence:

The deceased went up to the accused and hit him over the head with a stick.

It is clearly nonsense to say that a dead man hit anybody over the head with a stick. Dead people do not do that. The sentence would have been much clearer if the reporter had used both men’s names.

The following is a list of words which frequently cause problems, especially through misuse:

affect: is a verb meaning to have an influence on. Often confused with effect which is the noun. So we say: The girl’s headache affected her performance, but the noise had no effect on her.
all right: is two words. Do not spell it alright.
alternatives: a choice between two things. If there are more than two, use choices.
among: used when there are more than two things. If there are two things, say between.
anxious: means to be troubled or worried. It is sometimes wrongly used to mean eager.
beside: means at the side of. Besides means in addition to.
canvass: means to ask for something. Do not confuse it with canvas, which is a cloth.
charge: there is often confusion between to charge with and to charge for. A person is charged with an offence (the man was charged with murder) People are charged for goods or services they receive (he was charged $20 for his ticket).
chronic: means long-lasting. When talking about illness, it is often confused with acute, which means severe.
continual: means happening lots of times. Do not confuse with continuous, which means happening all the time without a break.
council: is a meeting. Counsel is advice. A councillor is an elected representative on a council. A counsellor is someone who gives advice. We also refer to lawyers in court cases as counsel, because they give legal advice.
decimate: literally it means to kill one in ten. Today it is used to describe heavy casualties. It does not mean to destroy.
disappeared: traditionally only ever used as an intransitive verb (i.e. without an object), as in “the rabbit disappeared”. Now in some versions of English it is used as a transitive verb (i.e. with an object, usually human) to mean to intentionally make someone disappear, as in “the regime disappeared hundreds of dissidents”, though this form is still unusual in British, Australian or American English.
disinterested: means not being directly affected by the issue one way or the other. Do not confuse with uninterested, which means lacking any kind of interest.
hang: a criminal is hanged, clothes are hung.
immigrant: a person who comes into the country to live permanently. It is confused with
emigrant, who is a person who leaves his or her own country to live permanently in another country. An emigrant from one country becomes an immigrant into another.
invaluable: means of too much value to be priced. It is often wrongly used to mean without value.
less: confused with fewer. Less refers to quantity (less water, less flour, less fruit). Fewer refers to number (fewer boys, fewer coconuts).
licence: in Commonwealth English, this is the noun. To license is the verb.
literally: usually confused with figuratively. Literally means exact to the letter. If it happens literally, it happens exactly the way it is described. People speak of being “literally dead on my feet“. If they were, they would be dead.
loan: is the noun. The verb is to lend.
over: means above. When talking about numbers, use more than (there were more than 50 people in the hall).
practice: is the noun. To practise is the verb.
principal: means the main one or the first. We speak of the principal instalment or the school principal. It is often confused with principle, which is a moral guideline.
Scots: these are people from Scotland, who are Scottish. Do not confuse it with the whisky called Scotch.
stationary: is an adjective meaning standing still. It is confused with stationery, a noun meaning writing materials.
treble: mean three times. Do not confuse with triple, which means three kinds. A treble chance gives you three chances of winning. A triple jump is an event involving three kinds of jumping action.
Ukraine: is the name of the country, not the Ukraine, which was a label used by the former Soviet Union to imply it was a region rather than an independent state.
whisky: Scotch whisky is spelled without an `e’. Irish and American whiskey is spelled with an `e’.
You can read more about troublesome words at the Common Errors in English website by Paul Brians. It is based on American English and contains hundreds of simple explanations of correct English usage.

To summarise

• You must keep your language clear and simple so that your readers or listeners can understand.
• Check any spellings you are unsure of; spelling is important.
• Explain any new words whenever you use them.
• Avoid jargon, unnecessary words and clichés.
• If you do not understand a word you cannot expect your reader or listener to.

This module is taken from The News Manual’s Chapter 11: Language & Style – Words.

Related training modules

Language and style – the basics

Language and style – grammar

Language and style – translation

The post Language and style – words first appeared on Media Helping Media.

Important grammatical rules for news writing

In this, the third module in the series about language and style from The News Manual, we look at some of the most important grammatical rules for news writing, at some common mistakes and how to correct them.

In the previous two modules we discussed the basics of structuring your stories well and using the correct words. The third element of good writing is grammar – the rules by which the words fit into the structure.

With so many people using a language as complex as English, there are lots of opportunities for making errors. We cannot possibly list them all here. We will, however, remark on some of the most common mistakes made by journalists.

Collective nouns

Some nouns which are collections of individual parts are treated as plural, while others are treated as singular. It is very much a matter of which style your particular newspaper or broadcasting station uses, but there is a general guideline. If individuals within the group act or make decisions as a single body, use the singular verb.

RIGHT: The Government said it was going to abolish income tax.
WRONG: The Government said they were going to abolish income tax.

However, if the collective group is more noted for its individual parts, treat it as a plural. This is commonly done for sporting teams.

RIGHT: The team manager said they were going to win.
WRONG: The team manager said it was going to win.

A singular noun should be treated as singular even when it contains several things. For example, we say that:

A bag of coconuts is sitting on the table.
A flock of sheep is grazing in the field.
The bus full of nurses is waiting outside.

This is because the subject of the sentence is “a bag”, not “coconuts”; “a flock”, not “sheep”; and “a bus”, not “nurses”.

Neither, none, each and every

The words neither, none, each and every are treated as singular when they are the subject of a verb, even though they refer to more than one thing or person. This is because the words mean not either one, not one, each one and every one.

RIGHT: Neither the man nor the woman is able to speak.
WRONG: Neither the man nor the woman are able to speak.

The word none is treated as singular (because it is short for not one), even though it is usually followed by a plural noun. The subject of the sentence is none (i.e. not one) and therefore needs a singular verb. The subject of the sentence which follows is not men, it is none:

RIGHT: None of the men was willing to testify in court.
WRONG: None of the men were willing to testify in court.

The words each and every are treated as singular, even though they may be followed by a long list of things they refer to.

RIGHT: Every car, bus, bicycle and rickshaw in the city has to be licensed.
WRONG: Every car, bus, bicycle and rickshaw in the city have to be licensed.

Misplaced modifiers

When you use a phrase to modify or describe part of a sentence, make sure that it describes the correct part. The rule is that the modifier attaches to the noun nearest to it. Mistakes can sometimes be very amusing. In this example, the modifier is in italics.

RIGHT: The plane came to a halt in front of the clan chief who was dressed in a grass skirt.
WRONG: Dressed in a grass skirt, the plane came to a halt in front of the clan chief.

I, me, we and us

These become a problem when you turn someone’s quotes into reported speech. It is correct to use I, me, my, we, us, and our within quotation marks, but once you take the quote marks away and write in reported speech, you have to make the following changes:

I becomes he or she,
me becomes him or her,
my becomes his or her.
We becomes they,
us becomes them,
our becomes their.
you becomes him, her or them,
your becomes his, hers or their.

Many journalists remember to change the I, me and my in reported speech but forget about the rest of the changes that have to be made. In the following example, we show the right and wrong ways of turning a sentence from quotes into reported speech. The original sentence in quotes was:

The Prime Minister of Fiji told soldiers in Suva: “I will do my best to protect our country.”

Turned into reported speech, it becomes:

RIGHT: The Prime Minister of Fiji told soldiers in Suva that he would do his best to protect their country.
WRONG: The Prime Minister of Fiji told soldiers in Suva that he would do his best to protect our country.

In the wrong version above, leaving the word “our” in the sentence implies that we, the journalist, are included in the story.

It is sometimes not enough just to change a few words. Sometimes you will have to add words of explanation. In the correct sentences above, it is clear who is speaking to whom. However, when changing quotes into reported speech it occasionally becomes less clear, especially in paragraphs later in the story. Suppose the Prime Minister then went on to tell the soldiers:

“I can do so much, but I also need your help.”

In reported speech you would then have to write:

The Prime Minister of Fiji told soldiers in Suva that he would do his best to protect their country. He said he could do so much, but he also needed help from the army.

This would be an acceptable solution in writing for radio and television, where you should not use direct quotes in scripts. If you are writing for the print media, the best solution is to give the quotes themselves.

Its and it’s

There is often confusion over these two words. The rule is simple. Use its when referring to something belonging to it. Use it’s as a short form for it is. For example:

The wounded animal returned to its lair.
The hunter said: “It’s not clear what is happening at the moment.”

Punctuation

Here are some basic rules of punctuation used in most style books. The Golden Rule of all writing, however, is to keep it simple and clear.

Capital letters

These are used at the beginning of sentences and for the names of people and places. Capitals are also used at the beginning of words which are a titles rather than a description. For example, we write about “the Government of Sri Lanka” because that is the title of one specific body, but we write of “agreements between governments” because we are speaking about governments in general. The following example demonstrates the difference:

Eight prime ministers attended the meeting, hosted by the Prime Minister of India.

Capital letters should also be used for the trade names of products and companies. For example:

The Universal Cement Company produces cement called Cemebond.

Full stops

Called “periods” in America, full stops are used at the ends of sentences, as decimal points and with certain standard abbreviated place names. For example, in America Cal. for California or N.Y. for New York; in Australia W.A. for Western Australia or Vic. for Victoria., though it becoming increasingly common to drop the full stops in informal use. However, unless the abbreviation is one well-known to your audience, write the name in full. Journalists working for radio or television normally give the names in full.

When used at the end of a quote, the full stop comes within the closing quotation mark:

He said: “This is not what we wanted.”

Not all abbreviations use full stops. Most newspapers today do not use them to abbreviate Mr, Mrs, Ms, Dr, Rev and similar common titles.

It used to be the case that full stops were used within abbreviations of titles. Increasingly, editors are choosing to leave them out, as in USA, PNG or UN.

Commas

The comma in written English acts very much like a pause in the spoken language. It is used within sentences to separate phrases or lists of words, as in the following example:

The company, which was only set up last year, now produces a range of goods including tyres, steering wheels, exhaust systems and windscreens.

Notice that there is no comma before the and at the end of the list.

Commas should only be inserted to help reading or listening. If you find you have several commas in your sentence, it is probably too long and should be split into separate sentences.

Semi-colons (;)

Their main use is to separate phrases which already contain commas, especially in lists:

The winners were: Bagu Lagi, geology; Jim Ho, physics; Peter Graham, Doro Meeni and Fa’afo Tokala, economics; and Nga Nganda, history.

Colons (:)

There are two principle uses for the colon in news-writing. One is at the start of lists, as in the example above. The second is when going from attribution into a quote:

The judge said: “This is not the first time I have had to deal with this kind of case.”

Apostrophes (‘)

There are several uses for apostrophes. The most common is to show possession. It is usually used in front of an s. In this example, the printery belongs to the company:

Fire last night destroyed the company’s main printery.

However, when a plural noun ends with an s, the apostrophe is not normally followed by another s:

Frank’s jokes were a great success at his parents’ anniversary party.

In the sentence above, the jokes belonged to Frank, so we add an ‘s. However, the word parents already ends in s, so we just add an apostrophe. Apostrophes are also used in contractions in place of missing letters or numbers:

“In the ‘34 gold rush, miners couldn’t get to Bulolo quickly enough,” he said.

Quotation marks (“ “)

These should mainly be used to distinguish spoken words, although some journalists use them when quoting from written reports.

Hyphens (-) and dashes ( – )

Hyphens are used to pull words together, and dashes are used to separate phrases, usually for dramatic effect.

Hyphens are used to join two or more words into one idea, for example: non-agreement, well-meant, Vice-Chancellor, mother-in-law. They are also used in some words to avoid ambiguous meaning. For example, the hyphen distinguishes between re-cover (to cover again) and recover (to get something back).

The dash (which is given more space than a hyphen) is used to indicate a dramatic shift or a surprise phrase, as in the following example intro.

David Paro arrived home from work yesterday to find an unwelcome gift on his verandah – three tonnes of manure.

Do not use the dash unless it is necessary; it can get tiresome to readers.

Question marks (?)

These should only be used after a direct question, which means they usually appear within quotation marks. Examine the following combinations to see the right and wrong uses of question marks:

RIGHT: The doctor asked Mary: “When did you last give blood?”
RIGHT: The doctor asked Mary when she had last given blood.

WRONG: The doctor asked Mary: “When did you last give blood.”
WRONG: The doctor asked Mary when she had last given blood?

Journalists sometimes wrongly ask their readers questions, particularly in writing features. The journalist’s job is to answer readers’ questions, not leave them guessing, so avoid posing questions.

Exclamation marks (!)

You should not need these in news-writing. In novels they are inserted to signify drama. If you are a good reporter your story should do that for you. You should only use them at the end of a quote which is an exclamation or an order, for example:

Mr Paro took one look at his veranda and said: “Damn!”

Ellipsis (…)

This is a series of three dots put into quotations to show that something has been missed out:

“The car struck several objects … before coming to rest against a tree.”

You should try to avoid this if at all possible, as it suggests to your reader that you are hiding something.

The ellipsis is frequently used instead of a dash in radio and television news-writing. The newsreader knows to allow an expectant pause before finishing the sentence. So in radio, we might rewrite the manure example:

David Paro arrived home yesterday to find an unwelcome gift on his veranda … three tonnes of manure.

Brackets ()

You should also avoid brackets in news-writing. They are meant to contain extra detail within a sentence, but are more often used by lazy journalists to avoid having to rewrite sentences correctly. Some newspapers allow their use when explaining abbreviations, for example:

A surgeon suffering from Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS) has been sacked from his job in the country’s main hospital.

To summarise

• Keep your language clear and simple so that your readers or listeners can understand.
  Sentence structure should be simple.
• Check all your work to make sure that everything you write obeys the rules of grammar and punctuation.

This module is taken from The News Manual’s Chapter 12: Language & Style – Grammar.

Related training modules

Language and style – the basics

Language and style – words

Language and style – translation

The post Language and style – grammar first appeared on Media Helping Media.

Reporting and writing across different languages

In the previous three modules on language and style from The News Manual we look at the basic structures for news articles, the words used when writing reports, and some important grammatical rules.

In this, the final module of four, we look at these issues in the context of reporting and writing across different languages, some of the challenges of translation and some of the main dangers to look out for.

If you are a journalist working in a multilingual society, you may have to work in more than one language. Whether you gather the information in one language and write the story in another, or whether you write a story first in one language and then rewrite in another language, you face the task of translation. However, if you have a good command of both languages and follow a few simple rules, translation should not be difficult.

This module is written only in English, but the processes we describe always involves two or more languages. It is possible that English will not be one of the languages you work in when translating. To avoid confusion, we will call the language which you are translating from (or conducting interviews in) the source language; and we will call the language you are translating into (or writing the final story in) the target language.

The principles of translation

The first thing to remember is that translation is the transfer of meaning from one language to another. It is not the transfer of words from language to language. You must translate the meaning of what is being said, rather than do it word-for-word. This is because languages are not just different words. Different languages also have different grammar, different word orders, sometimes even words for which other languages do not have any equivalents. The English spoken by a scientist may have words which a simple farmer cannot even start to imagine. And the farmer is likely to have words for things the technologist never dreamed of.

Simple steps in translation

We will start by talking about the simplest form of translation – the one where you already have a story written down in one language (the source) and you want to translate it into another language (the target). The steps to follow are:

Read the whole of the original source story through from beginning to end, to make sure that you can understand it. If you cannot understand everything that is said, you cannot translate it. If there are any words or phrases that you do not understand, you must clarify these first. You may decide that the ideas they express are too difficult to translate or not worth translating, but you need to know what they are before you can judge.

Do a first draft translation, trying to translate all the source material. But do not translate word-for-word. Remember that you are translating the meaning. When you have finished the first translation, you will now have a draft story in the target language.

Go back over the whole of your draft translation and polish it without looking at the source original. (You might even like to turn the source story face down on your desk so you cannot cheat.) Make sure that your translation reads well in the target language. Compare the final version of your translation with the source original to make sure that you have translated it accurately. This is when you can make any detailed adjustments in individual words or phrases.

False friends

Beware of words or phrases we call “false friends”. These are words in the original source language which you retain in your translation, often because you cannot think of the correct translation. If you cannot think of the right word, how can you expect your reader or listener to? Of course, languages borrow from each other all the time. If a society comes across a new idea, it may simply use the foreign word without inventing a word of its own. Remember, however, that you are translating meaning, not words. If you come across a word in your original language which has no equivalent in the target language, perhaps you can use a phrase (i.e. several words) instead. For example, many languages do not have a word for “computer”. Instead of retaining the English word “computer”, can you translate it as “a machine which does brain work” or something similar? Be careful, though, that you do not try to re-invent the community’s language to suit your own way of thinking. If you have problems with translating words, consult experts or ask your colleagues to see if you can reach agreement on the correct translation. If you are a journalist working in a small language community, the words you decide upon could become the standard usage.

Of course, some foreign words will inevitably creep into other languages. Words like “computer” are becoming widely accepted by speakers of non-English languages and may eventually be understood by everyone. The problem arises in the time between the foreign word being first introduced and it being understood by everyone. During such transition periods, use the word untranslated, but follow it immediately with a translation or explanation. For example, you might write in your target language the equivalent of:

The provincial government is to buy computers for each of its local offices. The computers are machines which will help office staff to keep accounts, write letters and do other jobs.

Dictionaries

You cannot translate words in isolation. Words get their meaning from how they are used in each situation – what we call their context. You must do a contextual translation. You should use a bilingual dictionary where one is available, but be careful when looking up translations for individual words. Dictionaries are useful, but there is very often more than one translation for individual words. The best dictionary is one which defines the word in its various contexts. For example, a simple English word like “skip” has several quite different meanings. It can mean any of the following, depending on the context: to move lightly, especially by jumping from one foot to another; to omit or leave something out; to deal with something quickly and without much thought; a large container for transporting building materials, especially waste. It can even be short for “skipper”, the captain of a ship or sports team. You can see that using the wrong translation of “skip” could have some unfortunate results.

Listen to the little voice in your head if it tells you that a translation seems strange. It is better to ask advice than to write something silly. You may not know all the uses for each word, especially slang words which you cannot find in dictionaries. For example, mechanics often refer to an adjustable spanner as a “monkey wrench”, when it has nothing to do with monkeys.

Writing style

You do not have to be an expert in linguistics to make good translations. If you know your target language well, you can usually hear in your head whether the sentence sounds correct in your translation.

Your translation should not try to duplicate the word order or grammatical construction used in the source language unless it is also correct in your target language. For example, some languages put the verb (the “doing word”) at the beginning of a sentence, some in the middle and some at the very end.

You do not have to use all the words from your source material for translation if your target language can cope without them. For example, we may say in English “The ship sank lower in the water”, whereas in another language the words “in the water” may be unnecessary because the words for “sink” in relation to “ship” already includes the idea of “water”.

Also, do not be afraid of using more words in your translation than in the original. Although in journalism you should aim to keep your sentences short and crisp, this must not be allowed to interfere with the clarity of the ideas you are trying to communicate.

Some other problem areas

Translation is a very big and complicated field which we cannot discuss in great detail here. However, the following are some other problem areas you might want to keep in mind:

Understatements and euphemisms

Be aware of the cultural differences in languages. Some languages like to hide unpleasant facts beneath understatements or euphemism. Euphemisms are mild or inoffensive words which are used in the place of harsh or hurtful words.

Some speakers might use humour in one situation which another language would not permit. Again, you must understand the meaning in context.

Linking words

Words such as “although”, “but”, “from”, “even” and a host of others are usually very important in English, as they are used to show the relationships between the words in your sentences. Getting these small words wrong can alter entirely the sense of the sentence.

Verbs

These can sometimes cause problems in their different forms. There are, for example, quite distinct meanings for the words “can”, “may”, “must” and “should”. If you are not sure, it is best to avoid the construction altogether and say it a different way.

Accuracy

Some languages are more accurate than others in certain areas. For example, many language groups in Papua New Guinea have more than 10 different words for varieties of sweet potato. The Inuit Indians of Canada have different words for 20 separate things which in English we just call “snow”.

English is not a precise language in many areas. Be aware that a vagueness in English may not be acceptable in another language. For example, we can say “Doctor Smith” in English, whereas in Chinese we have to know the gender of the doctor to translate the word “doctor”.

Ambiguity

Sometimes the exact meaning in the source language is left unclear (ambiguous) on purpose, in which case you should try to keep it that way. This is especially so when reporting claims, accusations and hearsay evidence in such things as police stories. For example, a person might be charged in English with “unlawful carnal knowledge”, which usually means a sexual offence against a person under the age of consent. You should not translate that as “rape of a child” or “sodomy of a little boy” or any other specific sexual act unless that is part of the charge. It is better in this case to use a phrase similar to “a sexual offence against a young person”.

Names and titles

There is still a debate about the need or otherwise of translating names from one language into another. For example, would you retain the English title “Education Department” or translate it into something like “office for schools”? Of course, a lot depends on how the rest of your community use the term, especially those people who are most closely involved, such as the Education Department itself. Your newspaper, radio or television station may have a policy on this. If not, perhaps you should get together to decide on a policy, taking into account how the community in general deals with names and titles. Get a large, hard-bound exercise book for the newsdesk, thumb-indexed A to Z down the side. You can call this your Translation Style Guide. Once you have agreed on the correct translation for any problem word, enter the word with its translation on to the correct page in the book. Revise the book every so often to make sure that all the entries are still relevant. If your newsroom computers are networked, create a common file which everyone can access.

There are two ways people use names (or titles). The first is to identify the place or person, the second is to describe their function. It is usual to leave untranslated names which act as signposts for people, but translate those names which describe a function. For example, you would not translate the word “Baker” in the name “Baker Street”, because it acts as a signpost, but you would probably translate the name “Police Station”.
If a language used by your community is also used elsewhere in the world, you should remain aware of how it is spoken in other countries. For example, French may be commonly used in your society, so you need to keep up-to-date with how French is used in other French-speaking countries. Remember that all languages change, especially in their motherland. Constantly refresh your understanding of the way the language is developing both in your own society and elsewhere.

Translation during news gathering

So far, we have talked mainly about rewriting a story in one language into a story in another language. But your work may involve interviewing in one language and writing the story itself in another language. For example, your newspaper may be printed in English, but you have to interview a villager in his mother tongue which is not English.

The best way of doing this is to conduct the interview in the villager’s language and make your notes in that language too. You can then translate your quotes into English as you write your story. This method means that, while you are conducting the interview, you can ask questions in the villager’s language to clarify any doubtful points. You can also check your story back with him in his language to make sure you have the facts correct.

However, some languages may have been written down only recently and so may not have a clear and easy written form in which to make your notes. If this is so, and if you are fluent in both languages, you may be able to listen in the villager’s language while making your notes in English. You are translating as you listen and write. This may work perfectly well, but a word of warning: Trying to translate while also concentrating on what the villager is saying may introduce errors into your notes. Ask the villager to slow down a little so that you can make your notes, then check your notes at the end of the interview by translating them back into the villager’s language for him. Radio and television journalists can overcome this problem by using their tape recorders, but newspaper reporters might also find a tape recorder useful in such situations. You should still make notes, but have a tape recorder running at the same time so that you can check later to make sure that you made the correct translation during the interview.

There is one final complication of which you must be aware. This comes when you are interviewing in a source language, writing your story in a target language and then having to translate the same story back into the source language. This might occur if you have to produce a special language bulletin or an edition of your newspaper in the source language. The danger is that you might not get an exact translation back into the source language, and so you might misquote someone. When writing a story which has to be translated twice, always refer back to your original notes when writing your second story, so that you can get the quotes exactly right.

To summarise

As this is the last of the four modules on language and style, here is a recap of the main lessons covered in the series:

• You must keep your language clear and simple so that your readers or listeners can understand.
• Sentences should be short – no longer than 20 words or three concepts (ideas).
• Sentence structure should be simple; it is best to write in the active voice.
• Explain any new words whenever you use them.
• Avoid jargon, unnecessary words and clichés.
• Check all your work to make sure that everything you write obeys the rules of grammar and punctuation.
• When translating, translate the meaning of sentences, not the individual words.
• Always keep your readers or listeners in mind whatever you write.

This module is taken from The News Manual’s Chapter 13: Language & Style – Translation.

Related training modules

Language and style – the basics

Language and style – words

Language and style – grammar

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